A Comedy Of Errors
by SoulfullyInclined
Summary: Contains abuse, drinking. Shawn's Princess, Part 2. I don't own anyone. *Life and quality of the story depends on the reviews*. *Please Leave More Than A 2 Word Review*. *Please Review*. Edited.
1. Lily

**Lily**

It was later that night. Shawn and I were sitting on the couch in the living room when the phone rang.

"I'll get it," Shawn said, getting up.

"Ok," I said.

I went into the kitchen to make some tea.

"Hello?" I heard Shawn ask. "oh hey Stacey.........yes, she's here..........ok hold on."

"Lily?" Shawn called.

"Yeah?"

"Phone for you. It's Stacey."

I walked into the room he was in, where he was standing with the phone in his hand.

"Who's, Stacey?" I asked

"My sister. She's a year younger than I am."

"Oh. You never told me you had a sister."

"Oh, so I didn't."

I took the phone from him and walked back into the kitchen.

"Yeah hello?" I asked, nestling the phone between my ear and my shoulder.

"Hi, Lily?"

"Yes, speaking."

I put a tea bag into a cup, turned the faucet on, put water in the cup over the tea and stuck the cup in the microwave.

"This is Stacey. Shawn's sister?"

"Yeah I know he just told me."

"Oh. Well, the reason I'm calling is because I have a question for you."

"Ok go ahead."

"Do you know anyone by the name of Rosalie?"

Oh god. The name was instantly familiar.

"Um..........why?"

"She told me she's your daughter."

"Um Stacey I.......I have to go. I'm sorry."

"But....."

I hung up and got the tea out of the microwave.

Shawn walked back into the kitchen.

"Hey what was that all about?" he wanted to know.

"Oh, she just had a question for me."

"Oh."


	2. Sierra

**Monday**

**

* * *

****Sierra**

I was sitting in 1st period when the teacher looked at me.

"Sierra," he said.

"Yes?" I said, looking up at him.

"You have a phone call."

"Oh, ok."

"You'll need to go to the office."

"Ok."

I stood up slowly, made my way out the class, down the hall, down the stairs and into the first floor office where I picked up the phone.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hi Sierra," a woman's raspy smooth voice said.

"Hi..."

I wondered who it was.

"This is your mother."

"Um. Wow. Where are you?"

"In rehab."


	3. Hannah

**Hannah**

It was the middle of the night when I woke up. I didn't feel well. I looked down at my sheets and noticed dried blood. I got out of my bed slowly dizzily and made my way down the hall and into the bathroom, where I opened the door and turned on the light then closed the door. I slid down it and lied on the cold uncomfortable tile floor on my side. I was cold and a little nauseous. I didn't want to tell my family what was going on because they already had enough going on as it was.

The room was brightly lit and white.

I stayed there a few hours, slipping in and out of sleep.


	4. Stacey

**Stacey**

While I was making pasta for Rosalie in the small kitchen of our trailer a knock came on the door. I turned the 1of the 4 stove burners off and went to answer the door. I opened it and there stood a little dark haired boy Rosalie's age.

"Um, hi," I said.

"Hi are you Stacey?" he asked.

"Yes and you are.......?"

"Tom. I'm looking for my friend Rosalie. We were playing and she went off somewhere. Oh, and my dad. Is she here?"

"Yeah she is. Cmon in she's inside."

I stepped back letting Tom inside. He joined Rosalie on the rectangular couch as I closed the door behind him.

"You want some pasta?" I asked Tom.

"Sure ok."

"Ok."

I turned the stove burner back on, starting the warer boiling.

"So who's your dad?"I asked.

"Shawn, do you know him?" Tom returned.

"Yeah he's......my older brother, which.......would make me your aunt."


	5. Lily: Living Room

**Lily**

I was sitting in the Matthews living room thinking over the news I'd just heard from Stacey. Apparently my 9 year old daughter Rosalie had made her way over to their trailer and told Stacey she was looking for me. Stacey said she didn't know where I was but she made pasta for her.

"Lily," Shawn said shortly from the kitchen.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I just put some pizza in the oven ya want some?"

"Yeah sure."

In the kitchen the phone rang.

"Yeah hello?" I heard Shawn ask.

Morgan and her friends Leo and Kerri walked into the living room.

"Hey we're goin out for a few hours," Morgan told me.

"Oh ok."

"We would've told Shawn but he's.........."

".....on the phone," Leo put in.

Morgan peered at me; "you alrite?"

I peered up at her; "yeah just a little distracted."

"Oh. Ok."

They left.

Both Mr. and Mrs. Matthews had taken off awhile back, Eric was still at the store and Ashley was at ballet.


	6. Morgan

**Morgan**

Leo, Kerri and I walked over to the trailer park. We stopped in front of Stacey's trailer. I climbed the 2 gray cment steps and knocked on the white metal door.

"Yeah coming," Stacey called from inside.

She opened the door.

"Oh hi Morgan.......Leo......Kerri."

"Hi," I said.

"Hey," Leo and Kerri said.

"We were just going for a walk and we wondered if you'd like to come," I said brightly.

"Oh I wish I could honey but I'm......uh, making dinner."

"Ooh whatcha makin?" Leo asked.

"Pasta. I'd offer you some but I .........kindof want to be alone right now."

"Oh o......k then."

She closed the door and we walked off.

"Well that was a bit odd," Leo said.

"She's hiding something," Kerri informed us.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hannah**

It was the next day. I was in the bathroom. Ashley had already left for ballet, Eric for the store. Shawn and Lily and Morgan were in the kitchen and Josh was upstairs asleep.

"Hannah breakfast!" Morgan called.

"Time for breakfast," Shawn echoed.

"I'm not hungry," I replied, from inside the bathroom.

Which was true, I wasn't. I was slightly nauseous.

"Oh. Why not?"

"I'm sick."

"Can I get you anything?" Lily asked.

"Maybe some 7Up?"

"Ok dear."

I smiled. Lily was really sweet.

I knew it couldn't be my period which I'd had last week.

In the kitchen I heard breakfast being made.

"I'll go wake Josh," Shawn said.


	8. Shawn

**Shawn**

_Several hours later..._

Lily and I were sitting in the living room of the Matthews. Amy, Eric and Mr. Matthews had gone to work. Everyone else except us, and Hannah, was at school. Hannah'd told us she was too sick to go.

"You didn't tell me," I told Lily, annoyed.

"Well you didn't tell me either Shawn," she replied, just as annoyed.

"I didn't think I had to tell you!"

I threw up my hands.

"Oh, so you, didn't think you needed to tell me about your son?"

"Well. No."

"Who was she?" Lily asked.

"Look we're not together anymore what does it matter!"

"It matters if she needs a mother."

"I didn't have a mother and look how I turned out," I pointed out.

She folded her arms in front of her, annoyed; "yeah. you're perfect."

"And I spose you didn't think you needed to tell me about Rosemary."


	9. Chapter 9

"Well. No," she replied.

"You don't think your daughter needs her mom?" I said.

"Well. I honestly didn't think she'd come looking for me."

"You didn't think she'd come looking for you."

"No. and all the way from England too."

"You didn't think your – how old is she?"

"9."

"You didn't think your 9 yr old daughter would one day want to know where her mom was and why she'd given her up?"

"I didn't give her up."

"Oh really?"

"Shawn."

"What. I chased after my mom who came back and then come to find out she's not even my real mom."

"I couldn't handle the responsibility. I was young."

"So was i. then you shouldn't have had children in the first place!"

"My dad wouldn't pay for an abortion and by that time it was too late."

"Look all I'm saying is that a child needs a stable family lily. Trust me."

I walked across the living room and opened the door.

"Where are you going?" lily asked

"i. I need some space," I replied, with my back to her.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know."

"Oh so you're just going to run off and abandon your son just like your mom ran off and abandoned you?"

"She didn't abandon me. And how do you know about my mom?"

"You just told me."

"Oh. I have to go."

"Here. At least take my phone. I have another one."

She put it in my hand then wrapped her arms around me. I shrugged them off.

"No," I said.

I opened the door and walked outside.

"Thanks…..thanks for the phone."

"Shawn."

"Yeah?"

"What about your son?"

"He'll stay with Stacey until I come back."

"When are you coming back?"

"idinno."

"An aunt's not the same thing as a father."


	10. Chapter 10

I walked from the Matthews to the trailer park. I opened the unlocked door. Sierra and charlotte weren't there.

"Shawn," Stacey called.

"Stacey it's not a good time," I told her.

"Shawn I found tom. And Rosalie."

"Who's Rosalie?"

"Lily's daughter."

"Yeah she just told me we had a big fight I have to go."

"Don't you care?"

"Yeah of course I do. That's why I'm leaving."

"If you care you don't leave you stay."

"Stacey. I don't wanna hurt anyone."

"You already are."

"Ok fine I don't want to hurt them more."

"So what am I supposed to do? And sierra? And. Charlotte?"

"I I don't know ask lily. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go."

I pushed past her.

"Don't ever push a woman."

"I didn't push you I pushed past you."

"Still."

"Yeah and that's why I'm leaving. Like I said."

"Ok."

We parted ways.


	11. Chapter 11

"Shawn I need-" someone said coming up next to me panting.

"It's not a good time," I replied.

Whoever it was put her delicate fingers on my arm.

"But I really need to talk to you. My dad's…."

"Look I'm about to leave can it wait?"

"No."

Something in her voice made me stop.

I looked down and could make out the dark outline of several bruises on her arm. Right away I knew it was Claire. She was a girl Cory and I'd known a few years ago. Her dad had been hitting her up until she'd moved to her aunt's up in Vermont. How she was back here I didn't know.

"I'm so sorry," I said my voice catching.

"It's not your fault my aunt died."

"Your aunt died?"

"Yeah. Mom took off so that's why I'm. Back here. You're the only one I could come to."

"cmon," I told her putting my arm around her.

We walked to my trailer where I opened the unlocked door and went inside her ahead of me. I closed and locked it behind me.

"Uh can I get ya anything? A drink or…some food?"

"Yeah tea if you have some."

"Sure."

I went to the overhead cabinets, opened them and got down a coffee cup putting it on the counter.

"Peppermint ok?" I asked spotting a box of it in the cabinet.

"Yeah that'd be nice," Claire said.

I heard her smiling.

"alrite."

I got the box down and set it on the counter next to the cup then closed the door.

"ya want anything to eat?"

"What do you have?"

"Um….we have beans, pasta and. Tea."

"Yeah pasta's good."

"Can I do anything?"

"No you're fine."

"Ok. So where are you-?"

"Claire," we heard a voice call.

I turned toward it.

"Oh no," Claire said.

"Quick get in my room I'll turn off the lights," I told her.

She hurried into my room and I flipped off the lights. Someone knocked on the door.

I went to answer it.

"Yeah?" I asked opening the door inches.

"Shawn you seen Claire?" her dad asked.

"No."

"But then why'd I hear someone talking?"

"Oh you know how people talk to themselves when they're alone."

"You let me know if you see her alrite?"

"Yeah will do."

"Thanks."

"mmmhmm."

I closed the door and waited a few minutes going to the faucet turning it on filling the cup with water turning it off and putting it in the microwave setting the time for 1 minute. I then reopened the cabinet and took down a box of pasta closing it. I set the box down on the counter then got the big pasta pot out of the cabinets below went to the sink filled it with water and set it on the stove. I turned on the kitchen light.

"Claire?" I called.

"Yeah?" she called back.

"You can come out now."

"Ok."

She walked out into the living room. I flipped the lights back on. She sat on the couch.

"Sorry about that. Pasta ok for dinner?" I apologised.

"It's ok I knew he'd come looking for me. And yeah fine," she replied.

"No Claire I really wanna know. Do you want pasta? I'm not just asking for the hell of it I actually care. You know that. Cause I could order out or have Mrs. Matthews bring something over…."

She sighed; "I know I'm just so used ta…."

"Running away? Well. You don't have to run away here. So really is pasta ok?"

"Yeah."

"ya want sauce?"

"Ok," she answered surprised.

"And cheese?"

She smiled; "yeah."

"Pesto butter?"

"No that's, fine. More than enough actually."

"Ok."

I turned on the burner to boil the water.

"Here's your tea," I said bringing it over.

She took it between her hands. She smiled; "thanks."

"Sure it's the least I can do. And actually…"

"hm?"

"I'll, be the one running away."

"Why?"

"My girlfriend and I had a fight. And I need to sort things out."

"Where you goin?"

"idinno. Not here."

"Ok if I come?"

"Um. Sure. I still gotta pack and. Don't you need to pick up some stuff? And why aren't you at your place? Well besides the obvious fact that you're here."

"Well mom was living there but then she took off so. I can't very well live alone. I don't have a job so I can't pay the bills. And dad might come after me. If I leave well. There's a slight less chance of that happening."

"Right. We should probably buy some food. I'm thinking we'll head somewhere out west."

"Right follow the sun cause we both could use a bit of light in our lives."

"Yeah."

I got up and checked the water.

"How's the tea?" I asked.

"Good. Very good."

The water wasn't boiling.

"So. You know what's new on my end. What about yours?" she asked.

"um….got a couple sisters 3. Stacey's a year younger Morgan's age and charlotte's in elementary school. Oh yeah sierra's pregnant. And my mom? Turns out she wasn't my actual mom. No she was a stripper. Dad's dead. And….apparently…"

"Wow."

"Yeah I know."

I inhaled; "I have a son. I mean I knew that but he's come back. That's what lily my girlfriend-"

Claire nodded.

"That's what lily and I fought about. You see she. Has a daughter."

"Wow. So you guys are parents."

"Well. We haven't quite figured that out."

"Oh. Where will they stay?"

"With lily. Or Stacey."

"Oh."

The water was boiling. I put the pasta in.

"Lily told me by the time she got pregnant her dad wouldn't pay for an abortion and by that time it was too late."

"Wow."

I stirred the pasta.

The cell lily'd given me vibrated then buzzed. I set the stirring fork down on the counter and went over to the phone. I flipped it open and read the text. It was from lily; where r u goin?

We're headed out west. Claire's comin w/, I type back.

Ok ill tell Stacey.

I put the phone back on the coffee table. Claire looked at me asking who'd texted me.

"Lily," I told her.

"Oh."

"Wants to know where we're goin."

"Oh."

I leaned back against the couch and sighed. Claire looked at me.

"Long day?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Yeah me too."

"I'm sorry about earlier I just."

"No I get it. You and your girlfriend had a fight. Stuff happens."

"Yeah but I shouldn't have taken it out on you. Shit esp….especially you. God I can't believe I did that. You deserve so much. So much more."

"Shawn," she said locking eyes, "It's ok. Really."

"Really?"

"Well no not really. But if you can't snap at me….who can you? I most certainly don't expect you to be perfect."

"Thanks."

"Sure. It's the least I can do. Right?" she smiled.

"Right. You don't judge me."

"Why would I judge you when you're the one who let me in without question? Yeah ok sure I don't agree with what you're about to do but I understand everyone needs space sometimes."

"Yeah."

"Hey ya might wanna check the stove," she said glancing towards it.

"Oh right," I said getting up.


	12. Chapter 12

It was the next day. After eating Claire and I'd both packed we'd then gone to sleep. We'd stopped at her place where she got the stuff she needed then we stopped at the store. Before we went to sleep I made sure the door was locked.

"What do you want for breakfast?" I asked from my spot by the stove.

"Um waffles," she replied sitting up on the couch.

"Ok."

I plugged the waffle iron in. she looked outside.

"It's snowing," she reported.

"Well then we better dress warmly."

"When are we leavin?"

"Right after breakfast."

"Wow."

"Yeah well. We'll make a few stops along the way for food and so we don't have to stay in my car. We'll stay in hotels."

"Ok."

"Hey you like the counting crows?" I asked.

"Yeah they covered that Joni Mitchell song."

"Big yellow taxi."

"Right. Why?"

"I'm bringin their music with me."

"Oh cool."

"You like poetry?"

"Yeah."

"Good cuz I'll be writing some. Maybe we'll even find somewhere to go ice skating."

"I'd like that."

"What do you wan t to drink?"

"Milk."

"Ok."

I went to the fridge and poured her a glass of milk and brought it over to her.

"Thanks."

"Sure."

I gave her my black wool coat; "here it'll be cold."

"It probably already is. And don't you need it?"

"Yeah but you need it more."

We both knew I didn't just mean the coat.

"I'll load up the jeep and then we'll be on our way."

"Ok."

I went into my room and wheeled our suitcases out into t he living out the trailer and into my black jeep. Outside the air was cold. It smelled like cold. I then went back inside the trailer.

"brrr it's cold," I said going to the counter.

"ya want your coat back?" Claire asked looking at me.

"No."

"Ok."

I opened the waffle iron poured the batter in and closed it.

"We'll stop by Ohio first then indianna, Illinois, Missouri, Kansas and finally stop in Colorado. I'm not sure where exactly," I told Claire.

"Wow."

"Yeah. Haven't been to my home state ."

"Which is?"

"Ohio."

"Oh."

"Anything you wanna do while we're there? Or, Chicago?"

"Yeah isn't the hall of fame there?"

"Yeah. There's also a zoo and garden."

"I don't wanna go to the zoo. But the garden sounds lovely."

"Hey do you like the stars?" I asked

Claire smiled; "yeah love them."

"Ok then we're going to the astronomy museum."

"Sounds good."

"How long will it take to drive all that way?"

"Few days shouldn't be more than 3."


	13. Chapter 13

We'd just arrived in our hotel room in Ohio which was clean and organized. It was that night. I put our suitcases next to the closet.

"Think I'll shower," Claire said.

"Ok. I'm going to see what I can find for dinner. You're welcome to join me. I'll have the cell."

"I'll have mine too. You got your room key?"

"Yeah you?"

"Yeah."

I stepped out of the room to give Claire some privacy closing the door behind me. It automatically locked. I headed down the hall to the elevators. Tomorrow wed go to the rock and roll hall of fame the Cincinnati zoo and gardens and if we have time the Adler planetarium. Then wed head through indianna to Illinois. Claire had paid for the hotel with the credit card her mom had given her for just such occasions. Shed given it to me to use for dinner.

On the drive wed listened to counting crows and Joni Mitchell sometimes talking and sometimes not.

Standing in front of the elevators waiting was an absolutely gorgeous brunette. Black hair, she was pale dressed in a green turtleneck sweater black pants and black flats. We were the only 2 waiting for the elevators. She glanced over at me.

"Hey," she said smiling.

"Hey," I said back.

"I'm April."

"Pretty name. Shawn."

"Thanks. You goin down to dinner?"

"Yeah you?"

"ya wanna join me?"

"Ok."

"How long you been here?"

"Oh it's our first day. My friend Claire and i. you?"

"Few days. I haven't had the chance to meet any hot guys yet."

"Oh I can hardly believe that you're so pretty."

Again she smiled; "thanks."

"You're welcome. Pretty smile too."

"Where ya from?"

"Philly. You?"

"Colorado."

"Wow no kidding. That's where we're headed."

"Well maybe I might see you there."

"Maybe. I hope."

"Me too. I'm goin to visit my siblings."

"Oh. I'm actually from here."

"Oh."

"Wow the elevator's takin awhile."

"Yeah."

"Hold on."

"Ok."

I pulled out the phone and texted Claire telling her I wouldn't be able to make dinner. I put the phone back.

"Ok that's taken care of," I muttered.

"hm?" April asked.

"Just had to tell Claire something."

"Oh. Nice to meet you."

"Thanks you too."

"You're welcome and same."

"You're welcome."


	14. Chapter 14

We were sitting in the hotel's restaurant eating dinner. We'd ordered pizza.

"So what are your plans for this trip?" April asked.

"We're going to visit the Adler planetarium, the zoo and the hall of fame," I replied.

"Cool."

"And some places in Chicago. You?"

"Oh wherever the wind takes me."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Yeah planning to be spontaneous there's an oxymoron for ya."

She smiled.

We both reached for a slice of pizza at the same time.

"Oh sorry," she apologised.

"No go ahead," I told her.

She smiled took it. I took another one. The pizza was halfway done.

"Oh we're also gonna go ice skating."

"Sounds nice."

"Yeah. How long you lived in Colorado?"

"Most of my life."

"Oh. I've never been."

"It's nice lots of sun. Snows a lot. The people are pretty nice."

"Sounds nice."

"It is. The mountains are beautiful. Do you ski?"

"No."

"Oh well there's always. Cuddling."

I smiled.

"Do you wanna take a walk after?"

"Yeah ok," I replied.

"So what's your story?" she asked.

"Um. What?" I replied taken aback.

"You know. Your story. You look like a guy who has a story or 2 to tell."

"I have many stories."

"I got all night."

"Ok well I have 3 younger sisters and a brother. Well. Half brother actually. One of my sisters is pregnant. What about you?"

"3 siblings, 2 brothers and a sister. They're all our age."

"Charlotte's the youngest she's in elementary school. Stacey's a year younger than me. Eddie's older. They're back in the trailer park. That's where Claire's from. Well. She actually lived in a big house then the trailer park then her aunt's up in Vermont and back to. The trailer park."

"Oh. Your parents?"

"My, my parents?" I repeated.

"Yeah."

"Um they're…"

"Sorry is that too personal?"

"No it's alrite it's a fair question. Um. Dad's dead died of a heart attack. And mom both of em real and ….took off."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So there's that. Cory's my best friend Topanga's his girlfriend. Of many years. She has 5 sisters he has 3 and 2 brothers."

"Wow."

She ate some of her pizza.

"What are you running away from Shawn?" April asked.

The question stopped me. I swallowed.

"My girlfriend. Well not really her just what I'll have to deal with when I get back. She has a younger brother who's dating Cory's younger sister Morgan. And her good friends Leo whose mom rosemary makes the most wonderful bread."

"It sounds really good."

"Oh it is. You'll have to try it sometime."

"I hope I'll get to."

"So is it bad the thing with you and your girlfriend?"

"No it's just. Big. And I'm not too sure how to deal with it so."

"You came here."

"Yeah. Well that's one of the reasons."

"mmmhmm."

"You see April. i. have a son. Lily has a daughter. Told me it was too late for her to get an abortion and her dad wouldn't pay for it anyway so."


	15. Chapter 15

When I got back to the room and opened the door I found Claire sitting on the floor against the bed.

"Hey here are your….." I bean.

I went over and put the pizza and bag of pads on the bed then sat down next to Claire. She was wearing a hotel robe.

"How was your date?" she asked curtly.

"How'd you…...?"

"Where else would you be?"

Right.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't be alone tonight Shawn. Or any other night. Alone means…my dad'll. Hurt me."

"Claire. We're in Ohio. How's he going to find you here?" I reasoned.

"You're right. Thanks for the pizza."

"Sure."

"I won't leave. Ok?" I said standing and going to the door and locking it.

I sat back down next to her.

"Thank you."


	16. Chapter 16

It was several hours later. April and I were in her hotel room which looked the same as mine and Claire's. I'd texted Claire letting her know if she needed anything to text or call me.

"So what do you wanna do?" April asked.

"Um we could….watch tv," I replied.

"Ok."

She turned on the tv and pulled up the guide.

"Let's see…..movies. oooh repulsion."

She changed the channel to something black and white.

"What is that?"

"A black and white horror flick with Catherine deneuve."

"Oh."

We settled back against the bed pillows.

"How old's your son?" she asked.

"9. His mom's older."

"I figured. Why isn't he with her?"

"I don't know."

"Oh."

"Yeah there was her….veronica….Jennifer….and Angela. And now lily."

"What happened to Angela?"

"She moved to Europe with her dad."

"Oh."

I put my arm along the top of the pillows. The movie was starting. Other than the tv the room was quiet. April snuggled against me. It was hard not to like her. She was sweet and pretty a good listener. And so was lily. But April and I didn't have any history together.

I inhaled sharply slowly. April reached for my hand. I nodded realizing she couldn't see me nod but figuring she'd know what I meant. And not wanting to interrupt the movie. She slipped her small hand into my big one. Maybe it wasn't just the movie I didn't want to interrupt.

"Maybe I should call her," I mused.

"hm?" April asked looking up at me.

"The. Tom's. My son's mom."

"Shawn you just got here."

"No I don't mean now."

"Oh."

"Just. You know. Eventually."

"Oh. You still have her number?"

"i…..idinno. Maybe Cory does. Scuse me."

"Sure."

April nodded.

I moved away from her and sat on the edge of the bed my back to her. I pulled out the cell and texted Cory asking him if he had tom's mom's number. He texted back asking who tom was and where I was. I'd told him I was in Ohio and that I'd call him when I had time. A few years back I'd told Cory about tom briefly. But that was it.

I got a text from Claire reading need pads. I was confused for a minute then realized what she meant. Stacey had had her period for the last 3 years as had Morgan.

I turned to April.

"Do you, have any pads? Cause Claire forgot to bring some and she needs some," I asked her.

"Um yeah," she replied standing and going to her suitcase.

She unzipped it and handed me a plastic bag of pads.

"Here."

"Thanks. Um I hate to cut this short…."

"No go ahead I completely understand. Claire needs you. You want some pizza before you go?" April asked standing and smiling at me.

"Yeah sure. And….maybe a kiss."

"hm?" she asked as i watched her lean into the mini fridge and take out a box of pizza.

She turned back around.

"Um….yeah pizza sounds great," I replied.

She put the box on top of the fridge.

"I heard what you said I just…." She smiled.

She walked towards me on foot in front of the other. When she got to me she put her hands on my chest and pushed me back onto the bed. She spread her legs on either side of me and came down to my chest. She ran her fingers through my hair.

"I love, your hair," she told me.

"Thanks," I said having trouble breathing.

She kissed me.

"i…." I began.

At that moment my phone buzzed. I glanced over at it.

"I have to go," I told her sitting.

She sat as well. I got up from the bed. She handed me the box with the pads on top of it. I stood.

"Will I see you later?" she asked.

"idinno maybe. Who knows what the future holds. Thanks for the pizza and the….you know."

"Sure. Hey if I don't see you have a good rest of your trip."

"Thanks you too."

"Of course."

"Well…..alrite then," I said and left.


	17. Chapter 17

It was 2 days later and we'd arrived in a parking lot in front of a lawn which was in front of a big brick high school. It was night dark out and snowing. I'd just parked but kept the car on for the warmth. The parking lot was lit and empty.

"I'm going to make a phone call. Will you be ok here?" I asked Claire.

She nodded.

"Ok. I'll be back shortly."

I unlocked an opened the door and got out closing it behind me. The night was cold. I called Cory.

"Hello?" he answered sleepily.

"Hey. Sorry did I wake ya?"

It was 2 hours later back east.

"Yeah but - Shawn! Where the hell are you? We've been worried…..Topanga, Stacey, lily myself. Mr. fenny."

"In Colorado. Denver, actually."

"Why?"

"I needed some space."

"From? What all happened?"

"Lily. We had a fight. Did you know she has a daughter?"

"No. and I know you briefly mentioned you had a son."

"Yeah well. They came back and now I have to decide what to do."

"What about their parents?"

"i…..i don't know. Do you still have my son's mom's number?"

"idinno I'll look. How long are you planning to stay?"

"idinno that either."

"Oh. What you should do Shawn is take care of the kids."

"We're in high school we can't take care of a kid now!"

"Well who else is going to?"

"You're right. Oh and Claire's with me. Apparently her aunt died so she moved back to her house with her mom who took off then she moved in back with her dad."

"Her dad? She can't live with him."

"Yeah I know that's why she's with me."

"Oh."

"Anyway I better get goin it's pretty cold."

"Ok well. Thanks for calling."

"Sure."

We hung up.

I went back to the car and opened the door for Claire who got out.

"Maybe we should try to get inside where it's warm," I told hr.

"Yeah hopefully," she said.

"At any rate we'll be out of this weather. So I just called Cory and told him where we are."

"Oh. Brrr."

I pulled her close as we walked to the front of the school where I knocked on the door.

"Try the handle," she said.

I did.

"It's either stuck or. Locked. Damnit," I swore.

"Now what?"

"idinno. I guess we just stay here and hope someone opens it."

The wind blew the snow around. Inside the school the lights were on.

"I wonder if it's even open," I mused.

"Well the lights are on it has to be," Claire said and shivered.

"You want my coat?"

"But don't you need it?"

"Claire cmon it's the least I can do."

"Yeah ok thanks. And thanks for…bringing me with you."

"I sure as hell wasn't going to leave you with your dad."

"You could've."

"I'm not like that."

"Yeah I know. And thanks…..for staying with me back in the hotel."

"Sure."

I looked around.

"Here," I said taking off my hat and gloves; "I've got more in the car. Will you be ok if I go?"

She nodded; "yeah. I'll call if I need anything."

"Ok."

I left going back to the jeep. On the way there I thought about the fact that lily and I'd both need jobs so we could pay for tom and rosemary. I thought about when Cory and I'd run a bed and breakfast out of Mr. feeny's house a few years back. I wondered if we could do that again. Or better yet maybe we could work in a hotel. The latter'd be better actually since that way we wouldn't have to quit school.

I pulled out the cell and called Cory.

"mmm yeah?" he answered sleepily.

"Hey sorry. But do you remember that bed and breakfast we ran a few years back?"

"Yeah."

"Well what if we ran one again? Or better yet what if we worked at a hotel?"

"Why?"

"If you haven't noticed Cory I have a son who I need to pay for."

"Oh right."

"So how bout it?"

"Um I'll think about it."

"Ok."

We hung up.

I got to the car unlocked and opened it got the hat and gloves out along with the bottle of vodka id brought with me then closed and locked the car. I unscrewed the bottle and took a swig. It tasted horrible going down but immediately warmed me. I took another swig and headed back to Claire.

"Hey," I said when I'd reached her.

"Hi," she returned.

I sat down next to her and held out the bottle; "want a drink? It'll make you warmer."

"No thanks I don't drink. And that's a myth."

"Yeah I know. Well I'm gonna have some. Nothin else to do. Hey don't go to sleep I don't want you freezing."

"Ok."

She leaned against me.

"So who was your date?" she asked.

"April."

"Pretty name."

"Yeah she was even prettier than her name. I met her back at the hotel in Ohio. We kissed. And then you called and….but we ran into each other up in Chicago. She's from here."

"Oh well maybe you'll see her again."

"Yeah that's what I'm hoping."

It was finally quiet. Cold dark but quiet. To the right of us across the street was a large park.

"If it weren't so damn cold I'd want to go to the park. It looks beautiful," Claire said.

I looked her way towards the dark park; "yeah it does. Well what we can see of it anyway which isn't much."

She laughed.

"But here is nice," she said.

From inside the school I heard a faint singing.

"Shawn do you hear that?" she asked.

"What the singing?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Which means someone's inside. Try the door again."

"Yeah hold on."

"Ok."

I pulled out the cell and texted Stacey apologizing for snapping at her earlier explaining id had a lot going on. I put it back and stood knocking on the door.

"Anyone there?" Claire asked from below me.

"Um," I replied and then the door opened towards me; "yeah since the door just opened."

She stood.

As the door opened we stepped back. A tan guy my height stood in the doorway.

"Hey sorry I didn't know there was anyone out here. Cmon in. I'm puck," he said.

"Thanks man. I'm Shawn and this is Claire," I introduced.

"Puck who is it?" a girl called.

"Babe we got visitors cmere," he calld back.

"ooh ok."

"So where ya from?" puck asked.

"Well Ohio originally but I been livin in philly most of my life. You?"

"Wow no kidding. I'm from new york then Ohio and now here. You?" he looked at Claire.

"Ohio. You own the school?"

"No but we been stuck here the past couple of days so."

"Oh."

A thin blonde Claire's height with blue eyes came up behind puck.

"Hey yall look cold. Puck why didn't you invite them in?"

He turned to her; "I did."

"Oh. Well don't stand in the doorway."

They stepped back to let us into the front hallway of the school the door losing behind us. I noticed how stunning the blonde was.

"You. Are stunning," I told her wondering if she was a stripper.

She smiled; "thanks. You're not so bad looking yourself. I'm Ashley."

"Shawn and this is Claire. We've already met puck."

"Nice to meet you where ya from?"


	18. Chapter 18

Sierra

A few days ago I'd received a call from my birth mother who after she'd had me had started doing drugs again. Apparently she'd done them back in high school. I assumed the reason she'd given me up was that her addiction got in the way. But that's all I knew.

This had all come as a shock to me. I wasn't sure what to do with the news. It sounded like she'd loved drugs more than she'd loved me. If Shawn were here I'd talk to him about it but h e wasn't.

I'd been in the hospital for days without any visitors. Staccey's friend June was nice enough to drive me while Stacey stayed at the house with charlotte. Mr. feeny was the one who'd told me I had a phone call.


	19. Chapter 19

Shawn

While Ashley and puck got acquainted with Claire I stood back against the wall and thought. A few days ago I'd had a talk with James lilys younger brother about the way he'd been treating Morgan. I'd told him to stay away from her. Since he'd been hurting her ever since they met. Maybe that's why lily didn't want to take care of rosemary because she didn't want James hurting her. I didn't know if Morgan and James were still together.

Out of my pocket I pulled out the bottle of vodka and took a drink. Ashley must've noticed because she looked my way.

"Hey you alrite?"

"Yeah why do you ask?"

"I'm good at reading people Shawn."

"Oh."

"Well that and you're drinking and I know I never drink when I'm happy."

"Yeah I'm. Fine."

I started walking down the hall in the opposite direction.

"Hey I was just trying to-" Ashley called.

"Ashley," I heard Claire say.

"What."

"Leave him alone."


	20. Chapter 20

Down the hall I took another sip of the vodka then ran my fingers through my hair as I often did when I was stressed or nervous. Then I sat.

I know relationships take work I'd learned that from Topanga and Cory, and Angela before she stopped writing me. I often wondered how she was doing and if she was dating. How her father was. I'd written her but hadn't sent the letters. Just like everyone else she'd in a way quickly left. It made sense since her mom had left her. Well died when she was young. As had my dad. I know 2 wrongs never make a right but I also understood where she was coming from.

Id told Stacey I needed space and I assumed she'd told lily. I knew one thing we weren't raising our children around James. I hoped he and Morgan had broken up. I don't know what'd happened to him to make him the way he was.

I guess it was decided then lily and I were going to raise our 2 kids together. But if we did that we'd have to quit school. And even I knew we were too young to be parents.

Then a thought popped into my head; maybe my half brother jack and his girlfriend Rachel would take care of our kids. That'd be the perfect solution actually.

I liked April but lily and I had kids and there's that saying stay together for the kids. April was from her and I knew I had to go back to Philly. And I know that from my experience with angela that long distance relationships don't really work.

I decided to talk to April about this before it turned into anything serious.

I was also scared for my son about the kindof father I'd turn into. Or. Wouldn't turn into. I didn't want to be like my dad.

While I was lost in thought someone approached me running her hand through my hair.

"Hey there you are I've been looking for ya," she said.

I looked up and saw April the ceiling above her.

"Oh. Hey," I said: "I'm glad you're here actually. I need to talk to you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah have a seat."

She sat coming in close to me.

"what'd you need to talk to me about?" she asked nearing for a kiss.

"That, actually. April I can't do this."

"Why not they won't care?" she said meaning Ashley, Claire and puck.

"It's not that. You're sweet and really pretty."

"And I love your hair."

"Yeah thanks but that's beside the point. I have a girlfriend back home."

"Yeah lily."

"Yeah and, I can't do this to her."

Her face fell; "oh."

"I'm sorry."

"No I get it you wanna do the right thing. Which. Makes me like you even more."

"April we can't and I just told you why."

"Well….here's my number if you ever just wanna. Talk."

She took out a pen and scribbled it on my hand.

"Thanks. I had a good time," I told her.

"I did too."

She stood. I looked up at her; "want a drink before ya go?"

"Sure I could use one."

I handed the bottle to her; "that makes 2, of us."

She took it bending her head back as she drank.

"And you're the reason why," she muttered.

She handed me the bottle; "jeez that's strong."

"Yeah that's straight up vodka."

"alrite well…"

"Yeah."

She walked off.

I took another drink.

"You sure like that vodka. Can I have some?" a voice asked.

I turned, seeing Claire standing.

"You. Want vodka?" I sputtered.

"Yeah it might help me forget. Now cmon gimme."

"Ok."

I was surprised but handed her the bottle.

"Be careful it's-" I started to warn her.

Her eyes widened; "wow."

"-strong," I finished.

She handed me back the bottle

"Um listen just so ya know," she began.

"Shoot."

"I think I'll be staying with Ashley for a few days. It'd sure be better than back home."

"Yeah I understand. Thanks for telling me."

"Sure. Are you….?" She peered down at me; "ok?"

"Me? No yeah I'm fine."

"Shawn. I'm not just asking for the hell of it you know that. I care," my own words reflected back at me.

I turned my back to her and held up the bottle; "yeah. I'll be fine."

She left.

I pulled out the phone and called jack hoping it wasn't too late.

"Yeah?" he answered.

"Hey," I managed.

"Shawn? Hey how are you? You alrite? Where are you?"

"Yeah hey. I'm ok. In Denver, with Claire. I needed some space from lily."

"Claire lily? Dating 2 girls? What happened to you and Angela?"

It'd been so long since jack and I'd talked I'd forgotten what he knew and didn't.

"Um no. lily's my girlfriend."

"Why haven't I met her?"

I didn't know you wanted to."

"Well. I do."

"which'd probably be good since. Well. You and Rachel like kids right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I'll explain when I get back which is also when you'll meet lily."

"Ok. But. Who's Claire?"

"A friend."

"Ok. You might wanna call Topanga too."

"Ok she up?"

"She should be. Why'd you and Angela break up?"

"Because she stopped writing."

"Oh."

"Yeah well."

"She hasn't been sleeping well Topanga."

I nodded forgetting she couldn't see me nod; "right. Ok will do."

We hung up and I called Topanga.

"Hey I was expecting you," she said.

"Hey jack told me you haven't been sleeping well."

"Well no because I've been worried about you! Wha'td you think you were doing just up and leaving your kids?"

"Topanga. I needed space."

"Well are you alrite?"

"Um. Yeah. Wait actually no. I'm scared."

"Scared?"

"Yes Topanga scared. What if I end up like my dad? I'm scared to raise our kids."

"Have you told her that?"

"No. I left. We had a fight."

"Are you coming back?"

"Yeah."

"Shawn you're supposed to be scared. Amy and Alan were. But you're great with your sisters. I can't tell you it'll be ok because I don't want to promise you something that isn't true."

"Yeah but sisters aren't the same as a son."

"I know. But you wanted to have sex with his mom alrite? That was your choice. And now you're…."

"Stuck with him yeah I know. I was thinking of having Rachel and jack take care of them."

"Does lily want that?"

"."

"So you haven't talked to her."

"Well no."

"And why didn't you ask Cory and i?"

"Well I figured you'd be busy."

"Shawn. We're your best friends and have been throughout your whole life."

"Are you here to blame me or listen to me? Because it sounds to me like…"

"I'm just trying to help."

"Really? Look I don't need your help."

"Yes you do."

"I have to go I'm sorry."

Which wasn't true I didn't actually have to go anywhere.

We hung up.

The phone rang. I vaguely recognized the number.

"Hello?" I asked flipping the phone open.

"Shawn?"

It was Stacey. She sounded worried.

"Yeah? What's wrong?"

"It's sierra."

"Is she ok?"

"No I really don't think so. She was taken to the hospital by my friend June the other night with labor pains. She said she w ants to talk you she wont tell me anything."

"shit i better get home."

"Yeah no kidding. I'm worried."

"I know. I'll be there as soon as I can. Thanks for letting me know."

We hung up.

I took a few more drinks. The bottle was still pretty full.

The phone rang again an unrecognizable number.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Shawn?" Angela's voice said.

"Um hey i…..hi."

I was surprised at this blast from the past.

"How are ya?"

"Actually I have some news. Remember when we had sex in college?"

"Yeah um…"

"Well we have a daughter. I just got the dna test back. She's beautiful. She's jasmine."

"Angela I can't-"

"I'm not asking you to be her father I'm telling you the news."

"Oh. How'd you get this number?"

"I asked Cory who called lily who told me. She's lovely. But she didn't sound pleased when I called."

"Yeah we. Had a fight. So you're a single mom?"

"No actually."

So in other words she was over me.

"You're over me?" I asked in disbelief.

"Well I'm not going to sit and pine away for you Shawn."

"Hey we broke up because you stopped writing. So don't blame me."

"I stopped writing because I was taking care of jasmine!"  
"I have to go."

We hung up.

I made a mental note to visit my father's grave when I got back.

I took a few more drinks.

It'd been a long day so I went to sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

When I woke up Ashley's head was on my chest.

"Hey," she said smiling up at me; "you looked like you could use some company."

"Well you're right. God how long have I been asleep for?"

"You weren't so much asleep as passed out thanks to this," she indicated the half empty bottle of vodka.

"Oh I had some."

"That's ok. And I don't need company long as I got that."

"Shawn," she peered at me, "how much have you had to drink?"

"Not much."

She sighed disbelievingly; "ok."

"What I can't drink?"

"I never said that. I just. Want you to be careful."

"Thanks I will."

"Sure."

I took another drink.

"So you got a son?" Ashley asked.

"Yeah how'd you…?"

"Like I said good at reading people."

Yeah apparently very.

"Yeah apparently very."

"And. I overheard part of your conversation."

"Oh."

"Yeah I'm a parent too. Her name's Angela lily named after my mother. She's up in new york. My friend lily's taking care of her."

"Pretty."

"Thanks. She is too. Well. My late mother died when I was young. My dad…I wish he was dead."

"Mine is."

"Oh."

"No it's ok you don't have to say anything. And my mom. Well. The woman who I thought was my mom isn't. And my actual mom's a stripper."

She smiled; "I'm a stripper."

"Yeah I wondered."

"I know. So now I'm living with Jesse and Karen ever since they rescued me from new york. You got siblings?"

"Yeah 5. You?"

"7."

"Wow. My friend Cory has 4."


	22. Chapter 22

When I woke up again Morgan's head was on my chest and Ashley was off somewhere. The vodka bottle was mostly empty.

"Morgan?" I asked surprised.

"Oh hey Shawn," she said casually.

"Hey what are you doing here?"

"I ran away."

"shit why? Do your parents know? And what happened to my vodka?"

"To get away from jams. I was going to stay with Ian but he's up visiting his grandparents. And no."

"Oh. You 2 still going out? Who's Ian?"

"No but he still thinks we are. A friend. That's right…..you haven't met him yet."

"Oh. Does Cory know?"

"No."

"Does Eric?"

"Shawn cmon what do you think?"

She had a point.

"How'd you get here?"

"Plane."

"And how'd you get the money for a plane ticket?"

"Bake sale."

"Oh."

"By the way I drank the rest of the vodka."

"Oh. Ok."

"Shawn?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I stay with you awhile?"

"Um yeah sure. That'd be ok."

"Thanks."

"Sure."

"Oh Ian and lily are cousins."

"Oh. Morgan. You shouldn't've run off without telling someone."

"Leo and Kerri and sierra know."

"I mean. Your parents."

"Oh you're one to talk up and leaving your kids."

"So you know?"

"Yeah I know."

"Oh. And that's exactly why I'm telling you this. Is because I wouldn't want my kids when they're your age arbitrarily leaving."

"Oh. How'd you get here?"

"Drove."

"Oh."

"I'll be right back," I said standing.

Morgan moved; "ok."

I went out the doors of the school and into the cold. Once there I got another bottle of vodka out of my jeep t hen closed and locked it. I stood there in the cold dark night drinking. Although it was cold the air was still which. I needed. I knew when I got back I'd have to work things out with lily.


	23. Chapter 23

"Hey you," a voice called.

I looked around the dark parking lot.

"You Shawn?" she asked.

"Um yeah," I answered wondering who it was.

Footsteps approached me. As did a figure.

"Well I'm Shannon," she said.

"Hey nice to meet you."

"Not if you know what's coming it won't be. How could you do this to her/"

"Um. To who?"

"My sister. You broke up with my sister. And she really liked you."

Oh so she meant April.

"Look, Shannon," I began, "I broke up with her because she was moving too fast and I'm already in a committed relationship."

"You really hurt her."

"Yeah I know and for that I'm sorry. It just kindof happened."

"What the breakup?"

"No. our meeting."

"Oh."

She left and I took a few more drinks.


	24. Chapter 24

It was the next day. Morgan and I were back in philly. It was night. She'd been driving the whole way because I'd been drinking.

"You won't tell right?" I asked about the drinking.

She looked at me; "no. I won't."

She pulled into the driveway and parked. We both got out.

"You sure you can walk ok?" she asked.

"Hey if I pulled off being sober for this long what's one more hour?"

"Ok. By the way."

"Yeah?"

"Where'd you get all the vodka?"

"Your dad."

"Oh."

We walked to the front door. Morgan stuck her key in and unlocked and opened it. In the living room were Mr. Matthews, Stacey, lily, Cory, Eric, jack, Topanga and Rachel. Mr. Matthews was sitting in the chair, Stacey, lily and Cory on the couch, Eric in the other chair and jack, Topanga and Rachel standing.

"Shawn," Mr. Matthews said having heard the door open.

He stood, turned; "where the hell were you?"

"Yeah," Stacey said.

"And where," lily said looking at Morgan; "were you?"

"Oh hey everyone," I greeted them, "lily this is jack and Rachel. This is my girlfriend lily."

"Hi nice to meet you," lily said.

"Same," jack said.

Morgan slipped a breath mint into my hand. I took it and popped it in my mouth.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"Sure."

I went over to lily.

"Hey," I greeted her taking her hands and pulling her up; "miss me?"

"Shawn. You can't just up and leave our kids."

"I needed space."

"Just like you did with Angela," Cory muttered.

"You can't just up and leave every time something gets hard," Eric told me.

"Especially not without telling anyone," jack said.

I looked at him: "I told Stacey who I'm pretty sure told lily."

"You could've consulted us."

"You would've tried to stop me."

"Damn right we would've."

"That still doesn't tell us where Morgan was," Topanga said.

"She was in Denver. With me."

"How'd she get there?"

"Plane."

"But you took your jeep. Shawn she could've been hurt or. Worse!"

I looked at Topanga; "Topanga if you haven't noticed she's already been hurt! What is the big deal?"

"That is the big deal!"

"Would you relax? I'm back and she's back and we're both in one piece. We left because we needed space. Nothing happened. Well. Nothing bad."

"Shawn you were irresponsible. And frankly so was she. If you're going to have kids you cannot run off like this," Rachel said.

I turned to her; "don't you trust me?"

"omygod I cant believe he's pulling this."

"Shawn of course we trust you," Mr. Matthews said.

I turned to him; "and Morgan?"

"Yeah."

"It's the world we don't trust," Stacey said.

"You let her go off by herself," lily said.

"I didn't know she was coming!"

"Oh."

"Still not a good idea," Cory said.

"If I had known I would've brought her with me. And would you open your eyes? The world is not a safe place! Look around. You don't think there's a reason Morgan left! Bad things happen every day."

"Not here they don't," Eric said.

"omygod don't be so naieve. Yes. They do."

"Shawn," Morgan said warning me.

I looked at her; "Morgan. It's time he knew."

"Knew what?" Topanga asked.

I looked from her to Morgan to Mr. Matthews.

"Don't pin the blame on me," he said.

"Why the hell not it's your fault," I said.

"What?" jack asked in disbelief.

"Jack what he's trying to say is that Mr. Matthews…" Rachel began.

"How long has this been going on?" Cory asked softly.

"Lily cmon let's go get dinner I'm hungry," I told her pulling her close.

She pulled away from me; "no."

"Ok fine. Morgan?" I asked looking at her.

"I think Morgan should stay," Eric told me.

"No. I'm not going to leave her alone with Mr. Matthews. I may be irresponsible but I'm also protective."

"And plus Ian's coming back tonight," Morgan said.

"Who's Ian?"

"I'll explain later."

We left.


	25. Chapter 25

When we got to the hospital the nurse directed me to the room sierra was in. I went in seeing her on a sitting in a white hospital bed. She looked up when I came in. I closed the door behind me.

"Shawn," she said.

"Hey how are ya?" I asked coming over to her and hugging her.

"Not good. Where were you?"

"Denver. Stacey told me I'm the only one you'd talk to. I got back as soon as I could."

"Well you're right. And thanks. How was your trip?"

"Ok. I would've come sooner but I was at the Matthews where there was a big argument and. Anyway. What happened?"

"I was having labor pains. Stacey's friend June was nice enough to drive me here. You're my first visitor."

"Really wow."

"I haven't wanted to see anyone else."

"Oh."

"Yeah um i….i…..Shawn."

"What is it sierra?"

"Shawn I want an abortion."

I was stunned.

"You want what?" I cried standing.

"shhh people are sleeping."

"Sorry," I said sitting back down.

"You want what?"

"An abortion."

"Um. Wow why?"

"It'll be easier on everyone. We'll have less food to buy. And. I'm too young to have a kid."

"Yeah I know the feeling."

"You won't tell anyone will you?"

"No. I won't."

"Thanks."

"Sure. Sierra this is a pretty big decision. Have you researched it?"

"Yeah I have and I know it'll suck."

Then it dawned on me. She was depressed.

"You're really depressed aren't you."

"Yeah. I am."

Her big eyes brimmed with tears.

"shit," I swore.

"This worries me."

"I know it does. That's why I was scared to tell you."

This touched me that my younger sister wanted to protect me.

"Thanks for trying to protect me," I said.

"It's what you would've done."

She didn't know how close to the truth she was.

I swallowed: "yeah i…I know. You're right."

I felt bad that I'd run off when she'd been going through this.

"I am so. Sorry I wasn't here," I told her.

I leaned in for a hug.

We hugged.

The phone lily'd given me buzzed. It was Morgan.

"I have to go. But I'll be back to visit you later. Ok? If you need anything I'm just a phone call away," I told my sister.

"They won't let us use phones in here," she pointed out.

"Oh well…..have the nurse…."

"Yeah I'll have her phone you. Thanks so much."

"You're welcome."

I stood; "are you gonna be ok?"

"idinno. I'm scared."

"Me too."

We hugged.

I walked out of the room down the hall and took the elevator to where Morgan was waiting with a guy her age. He had dark hair.

"Hey man I'm Ian," he said leaning forward and shaking my hand.

"Hey Shawn nice to meet you," I told him.

"Yeah you too."

Morgan looked up at me; "how'd it go?"

"Ok."

"How's she doin?"

"Not great."

"What happened?"

"That's personal."

"Oh. Ok."

As soon as we got outside I took a drink.

"That bad huh?" Morgan asked noticing.

"You have no idea."

"Oh I have a pretty good idea."

We got into the waiting jeep and drove back to the Matthews. I left the bottle in the jeep.


	26. Chapter 26

When we got to the living room lily, Cory, Eric and Stacey were sitting waiting.

"Where's everyone else?" I asked.

"Asleep," lily answered.

"Oh."

"Everyone this is Ian," Morgan introduced; "Ian this is lily and my brothers Cory and Eric."

"Lily's my girlfriend," I told him

She was sitting in the chair Mr. Matthews had previously been sitting in with Cory and Eric on the couch. I went and stood behind lily while Morgan went and sat in the other chair with Ian behind her.

"Hi," lily said.

"Nice to meet you," Cory said.

"You too," Ian said.

"Hey haven't I seen you at the movies?" Eric asked.

"Yeah I think so."

"Where'd you guys go?" Stacey asked.

"Hospital." I answered.

"Oh. How's sierra?"

"Not good. It's personal."

"Oh."

I turned to Ian; "this is my sister Stacey."

He looked at her, nodded; "hey."

"Hey."

"I can't believe dad does this to you," Cory told his sister.

"Yeah and he's not the only one," I mentioned.

"Who else?"

"James."

"James the….James she's dating?"

"Was. Dating."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I broke up with him and he hit me," Morgan said.

"Damn," Eric swore.

"How long has this been going on?" Stacey asked.

"The past few weeks. That's actually why mom left because he dad hit her."

Cory turned to Morgan; "dad hit mom?"

"Yeah. Where've you been?"

"Wow."

"Yeah it's amazing the things you miss when you don't pay attention."

"Why would James hit you?"

"Or dad?" Eric asked

"idinno. I mean I know James has a dark backround but so does Shawn and. He hasn't hit any women," Morgan answered.

"2 wrongs don't make a right hun," Ian told Morgan.

"I know."

"That's where you're wrong," I told Morgan.

She looked at me; "what?"

"I'll explain later."

"Ok. I don't want to get back together with him. I mean I want to know why because no one does anything without a reason."

Lily nodded; "right."

"But not if it's worth risking my life."

"I can't believe this," Eric said.

"Neither can I," Cory said.

"You don't want to. No one does," lily said softly.

"But you're….."

"Cory. I'm growing up. These things happen."

"They don't have to happen to you. Nor to you Shawn. If there's something going on you can tell us. You know that right?" Cory asked.

I swallowed, looked at him; "yeah."

But that was just the thing is I couldn't. I couldn't tell him about sierra or the drinking. I'd promised sierra I wouldn't tell anyone and I knew cory'd overreact to the drinking.

"We have to get her away from him Morgan," Eric clarified.

"Yeah and i. was actually thinking of having her stay with me," I told him.

"But what if he hits Ashley? Or Hannah?"

"We don't know it won't. We just hope to god it doesn't. I don't want her ending up like sierra."

"Me either," Morgan said sounding scared.

"Yes which is why were going to make sure it doesn't," Cory said.

"Hey," I said looking at lily.

"Yes?"

"How come James hasn't hit you?"

"He has. But not for awhile. I told him if he does ill kick him out. And he knows no one would take him. Or I'll call the police."

"Oh."

Eric grew very quiet. Lily must've noticed because she looked at him.

"You alrite?" she asked in her soft way.

"i….it's Morgan," he answered.

"I'm right here Eric," she told him steadily.

"i…god. I am so. Sorry I wasn't there to stop him."

"James or dad?"

"Both."

While lily pushed the tissues that were on the coffee table towards Eric Morgan walked over and hugged her brother.

"Eric. It's not your fault. Dad's goin through some stuff right now that's what mom told me."

"But that's not ever an excuse," Eric said.

"You're right. It's not," I put in thinking of my own experience with Claire.

"Claire?" Cory guessed.

I looked over at him and nodded.

He cleared his throat; "Eric."

"Yeah?"

"We have to protect mom. And Hannah. And Ashley."

"Ok."

"Who wants tea?" Stacey asked brightly.

"I'll have some if you're offering," lily said.

"Me too," Morgan said looking at Ian; "Ian ya want…?"

"Yeah ok."

"And the rest of you?" Stacey asked.

"Coffee for me," I said.

"Eric?"

"Yeah um. Coffee."

"Ok."

She disappeared into the kitchen.

"Warm beverages help so much," lily said.

"Yeah and idinno why that is," Morgan said.

"Because they're warm. And comforting."

"Sounds like someone else we know," Cory said.

Lily just smiled.

"And they force you to slow down," Ian put in.

"That they do."

"How is Claire?" Cory asked me.

"She's living in Denver with Ashley."

"Oh. Ashley?"

"Not your sister Ashley."

"Good I didn't think so."

"This other girl who let us into the high school. She's sweet."

"Sounds it."

"See when we got there it was snowing and the school was the only place where it wasn't"

"Oh ok."

"Which reminds me….Shawn I need to talk to you," lily told me.

I looked at her; "alrite when?"

"Not now. In a bit."

"Ok."

The house fell quiet. From outside we heard laughter. The front door unlocked and opened and in came Amy and a tall gorgeous brunette wearing a long red dress. She had her hand on Amy's chest.

"Oh it was such fun. And then the snowball exploded all over…." She was saying.

"And your tongue got frozen," Amy said.

"Please that was just an excuse," the woman said.

"Mom," Cory said surprised.

He stood and went over to his mom. They hugged.

"Hi Cory," Amy said.

"Hi mom."

I stood walked over to Amy.

"Welcome back Amy good to see you," I told her.

She hugged me; "you too Shawn."

"Have you met my girlfriend?" I asked indicating lily.

She stood, coming over to us and smiled.

"Hi I'm lily," she told Amy; "Shawn's girlfriend."

"Nice to meet you I'm Amy, Morgan, Cory and Eric's mom," she said.

They shook hands.

"Mom!" Morgan cried standing.

She went over to her mom and they hugged.

"Hi honey," Amy said.

"Hi. This is my friend Ian," Morgan introduced.

Ian stood walking over to us.

"Hi, I'm Ian."

"Nice to meet you I'm Amy."

They shook hands.

"And who might you be?" I asked the woman next to Amy.

"I'm-" she began.

At that moment the kitchen door opened and in came Stacey carrying a tray of beverages.

"Hi Mrs. Matthews. Do you want some tea?" she asked.

Amy looked at her; "yes dear that'd be lovely. And please again call me Amy."

"Ok coming right up."

Stacey set the tray down on the coffee table and went back into the kitchen.

"Eric?" Amy peered down at her son; "you haven't said anything since I got here. Is something wrong?"

"I'll take your coats," Cory told his mom and the other woman.

He moved behind them and peeled their coats off.

Amy smiled at him; "thank you dear."

"Sure."

"She's sweet," lily said to me as we handed out the beverages.

Eric took his numbly.

"Yeah she is."

We sat on t he couch.

"Hey Shawn," Cory said sitting down next to us.

I looked at him; "yeah?"

"y'know what's funny?"

"No not yet."

At this lily smiled.

"What?"

"Back when we first met Claire my dad was the one who told us to tell the police. And now."

"He's the one we're worried about. Yeah I know."

Eric hadn't said much.

"He's really taking it hard," lily observed.

"Yeah he is," I said.

"He's the oldest wouldn't you be?" Cory stated.

"Right."

At that moment Stacey came back in carrying 2 cups.

She went over to Amy and the woman and handed them the cups.

"I didn't know what you wanted so I made you cinnamon hot chocolate," Stacey told the woman who smiled.

"Thank you," she said.

Stacey stood with Ian behind Morgan.

"Everyone," Amy said smiling; "this is Isabella. She's my."

"-her girlfriend," Isabella put in.

"We met while I was away. And she wanted to meet all of you."

"You're Stacey the one who brought me the hot chocolate," Isabella said.

Stacey smiled; "yes I am and that's my brother Shawn."

"Hey. This is my girlfriend lily and my best friend Cory," I introduced.

"And that's my brother Eric and my sister Morgan," Cory introduced.

"This is my friend Ian," Morgan finished.

Isabella smiled again; "it's nice to meet you all."

"You too."

Ian turned to Morgan; "it's been a long day so I think I'm gonna go hun."

"Ok want me to come with?" she asked.

"No no."

"Ok have a good rest of the night."

"You too."

Ian stood.

"Amy, Isabella it was nice meeting you. Eric I hope things get better for ya. Shawn you too and nice meeting you. Stacey you too," he said.

She smiled; "same."

"Yeah you too I hope to see you around," I told him.

"Oh I'm sure you will."

He grabbed his coat and left.

"Well I should probably get going too you know go check on charlotte and all that," Stacey said.

"Charlotte?" Isabella asked.

"Their sister," Amy told her.

"Ah."

"Isabella it was nice meeting you. Mrs. Matthews, good to see you again," Stacey told her.

"You too," Isabella told her.

"Amy," Amy reminded her.

"Still haven't gotten used to that."

"You want me to drive you?" Cory asked Stacey.

"Oh Cory that's very sweet of you but you need to be here with your family. Thank you though," she told him smiling.

"You sure? I don't mind at all."

"Yeah."

"Be careful," I told Stacey.

"I will. Thanks."

She gathered her belongings and left.

"Mom I didn't know you were….." Cory began.

"On both sides? Well I am," she told him.

"Not that it matters."

"No of course it doesn't."

"Is there somewhere I can change?" Isabella asked Amy.

"Upstairs is good I'll be up in a bit," she replied.

"Ok. It was nice meeting you all."

"Yeah you too," I told her speaking for everyone.

She went upstairs.


	27. Chapter 27

Lily looked at me; "Shawn?"

"Oh right you needed to talk to me."

"Yeah."

We headed through the kitchen and into the backyard. The night was cold dark quiet and snow covered.

"Shawn," lily began.

"Yeah?"

"I don't like the fact that you just up and left without telling anyone."

"I told Stacey."

"That's not the point. You didn't tell me. If we're going to be raising the kids you cannot do that."

"I know that's what Rachel said."

"Well she's right. And knowing doesn't change things. You have to act upon it."

"I'll try and do better."

"Thank you that's all I ask."

"Actually that's-" I began.

"Hey hold on," lily said.

I heard Morgan calling from inside the house.

"Is it ok if Morgan borrows your keys for a bit?" lily asked me.

"Um sure."

I took my keys out of my pocket and gave them to lily who tossed them to Morgan.

"Thanks," she said.

I smiled.

"What?" she asked in protest.

"I can't imagine you tossing anything much less keys. I mean you're so…such a lady."

"Yeah I guess that was a surprise. You were saying?"

"Right. Uh that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. Is the kids."

"Yes?"

"I was thinking jack and Rachel could raise them until were out of school."

"What about Cory and Topanga? Topanga seems very sweet."

"Yeah well. We kinda had a fight. And they're busy."

"Oh."

"What do you think?"

"I'll think about it."

"Oh and lily? Before ya go."

"hm?"

"In a few days I'm goin back to Ohio."

"Why?"

"To. Visit someone."

"Ok thanks for letting me know."

"You're welcome."

"Think I'll get going. You want to come?"

"No no I need to be alone for awhile," I told her.

"Ok. Well have a good night then."

"You too."

"Good night Shawn," she told me standing up on her toes and kissing me.

"Good night lily," I told her kissing her back.


	28. Chapter 28

A few minutes later Morgan came out into the dark night.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey the others asleep?" I asked.

"Yeah did lily leave?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. I have something for you."

She took a glass from behind her back and put it on t he picnic table then poured the vodka into it setting the bottle on the table.

"Figured you'd need it. I had to wait until everyone was asleep to bring it out to you," she told me.

"Yeah thanks and I do."

I took a sip of the drink; "how's Eric?"

"Still the same. Mom made him a cup of tea and brought it up to his room."

"That was sweet of her."

"Yeah she's sweet. So's lily."

I smiled; "yeah definately. Gorgeous too."

"By the way they want to have a homecoming party for us over the next week."

"Oh um that might not work out."

"Oh? Why not?"

"i. have to go visit someone back in Ohio."

"Your dad?"

"Yeah my," I swallowed, "my dad."

"Hey I get it. Cory still visits our grandmother."

"Ok."

"You know…back when you said I was wrong?"

"Um. Yeah."

"Have you?"

"Sorry have I what?" I asked confused.

"Oh hit a woman."

"Oh. Well…no. you remember Angela?"

"Yeah vaguely. Whatever happened to her?"

"She moved to Europe with her dad. After she stopped writing we broke up. And she stopped writing apparently because she was taking care of jasmine."

"Let me guess your daughter."

"Yeah. And Angela's not a single mom fyi."

"Oh ok."

"Well anyway. Awhile ago I had a problem with drinking and i. shoved her. Didn't hurt her but scared the hell out of her."

"So now you're drinking again."

"Hey," I said, "don't judge me."

"I'm not I'm just. Surprised."

"Oh."

"Hey."

"Shoot."

"Why am I the one you tell all your secrets to?"

"ya bring me drinks why wouldn't i?"

"Oh so if I didn't then you wouldn't?"

"No. it's more than that. You're…..you're. You don't react."

"Yeah because everyone else does."

"That's not fair to you."

"When has life ever been fair."

"You said it. And Morgan," I said, "I know what it's like to be hurt like that. My dad, used to….well. you know."

"Wow. Yeah sorry about your dad."

"Yeah sorry about yours."

"Anyway I'm gonna go get some sleep."

"alrite. Thanks."

She smiled standing; "sure. Nite Shawn."

"nite."

She went into the house.


	29. Chapter 29

I sat there in the quiet cold still in the Matthews outdoor chair sipping my drink. It was cold. I didn't know what to do about sierra and I was worried about Morgan. Actually both of them. As well as Eric. He'd taken Morgan's news really hard. Lily had been so sweet with him. She always wanted to make sure everyone was ok. I didn't know what to do about sierra or jasmine if I wanted to see jasmine or not. I felt like I should since she was my daughter. But I couldn't just arbitrarily up and leave again. Well. I shouldn't've done t hat in the first place.

Isabella had been absolutely stunning and I could see why Amy liked her. She was exotic and passionate and fierce. No one knew up until tonight that Amy had been on both sides. But she hadn't been happy in her marriage for awhile.

From inside the house I heard the front door open. I sat up a little straighter in the chair putting my glass on the table.

"Amy," I heard Mr. Matthews call, "where's my dinner?"

Nothing from inside the house.

Then; "Amy!"

"I haven't made any Alan!" she called down the stairs; "if you wanted some you could've picked some up."

Which was true she hadn't. I'd even forgotten to ask. And come to think of it I was getting hungry.

"Where's my dinner?"

"Alan I just told you-"

"You make my dinner and you make it now."

"It's 11 at night Alan. This is ridiculous."

I stood, sensing something big was about to happen. Ready to go into the house if need be. That, and i wanted food.

"I don't care what time it is I want dinner."

"Make it yourself I'm too tired."

"No."

"i. what?"

"No. I want you to make it for me."

"Well Alan now we both know you're perfectly capable of-"

Something must've happened because I then heard Isabella say "you get away from my woman."

"Oh? And who might you be?"

"I'm her girlfriend."

"What are you going to do if I don't?"

"Call the cops."

"Yeah. Right. Like they'd really be awake at this hour."

"You don't tell her what to do."

"Then why don't you make it?"

"No."

"Uh what?"

"I said. No."

"Then how the hell am I supposed to get my dinner?"

"Make it yourself it's not that hard."

"Hey what's goin on?" I heard Cory ask.

Then; "dad no. I don't want you in this house anymore. I don't care where you go but you are not allowed back in."

"That's it Alan I'm done with you. I want you out," Amy said.

"But…."

"No."

"Fine but I want a separation."

I heard the door slam.


	30. Chapter 30

I was standing there stunned when a voice behind me made me jump.

"Ah Mr. Hunter," Mr. feeny said.

"Oh. Hi," I greeted him turning.

"Didn't mean to startle you," he looked toward the house, "they argue like that every night. I'm glad she finally kicked him out. It s about time too. Ah," he noticed the drink on the table, "it's a great night for a drink. Any cold winter night is. Now it may be none of my business but what are you doing here all by yourself? This is new, the drinking?"

"Um. Yeah. I haven't been sleeping too well lately got too much going on."

"Have."

"I'm sorry?"

"You have too much going on."

"Oh."

Even when he wasn't in the classroom he was always there to teach.

"Anything I can do?" he asked.

"Yeah maybe."

He waited.

"You see…there's this friend, of mine. These friends."

"This is about you isn't it Mr. Hunter."

"Yeah. I'd just rather…."

"Respect confidentiality. Yes I understand. So these friends of yours what about them?"

"Well. One friend promised the other he, er. Said friend wouldn't say anything about the other's situation. But said friend is worried."

"I see. Has he let this be known?"

"Yes. This friend isn't sure what to do."

"Is this something that could endanger this friend's life?"

"Yes it could it has the potential."

"It hasn't yet."

"Right but said friend would rather…."

"Act early. Well here's what I would do. I'd tell the friend to tell his friend to tell an adult. So the adult could help. If possible get the friend somewhere safe. And be supportive not judgemental. Judging them will only push them further away."

"Thanks you always give good advice."

"Of course."

"By the way what are you doing out here?"

"Oh I just wanted to see what was going on next door."

"Oh."

It suddenly dawned on me that lily, Cory, Topanga, jack Rachel and I should discuss the raising of tom and rosemary.

"Anything else I can help with?" Mr. feeny asked.

"No."

He looked towards the drink; "be careful with that."

"Thank you."

"I've seen one too many people go down that road and I don't want you being one of them. People care about you Mr. Hunter. Your friends. I'm one of them."

"Yeah thank you."

"Of course. Have a good night."

"You too."

He went back inside his house.


	31. Chapter 31

I wandered into the kitchen through the back door.

"Oh Isabella I can't believe I did that. I love him I do. I just," Amy was saying.

"I know. You don't want to get hurt."

"I want to apologise to him."

"Amy what have you done wrong?"

"Nothing I guess."

"Right nothing."

"I want him back."

"Amy if he comes back he'll hurt you. And Morgan. And possibly Hannah and Ashley. As much as you want to you cannot."

"It'll be hard."

"Yes it will be it will be really hard."

I opened the fridge finding a white pizza box. I took it out closed the fridge opened the box and set the box on the counter. I opened the box and started eating the pizza.

I heard footsteps come into the room.

"Oh hello Shawn what are you doing up?" Isabella asked.

I looked up from the pizza. She was dressed in a long black robe.

"Hi Isabella. I haven't been sleeping well lately. And you?"

"Making sure Amy's ok. You know what's good for that?"

"No what?"

"Honey chamomile tea."

"idinno I'm not much of a tea person."

But the truth was I didn't want to get rid of the taste of liquor.

"Trust me. It'll help."

"Thanks. I think lily's told me that."

"Lily? Ah the sweet redhead."

"Yeah her."

She reached into the overhead cabinet and took down a coffee cup and a box of tea.

"Do you want some?" she asked me.

"No, thanks. Want some pizza?"

"No it'll keep me up. After the tea's done will you bring it in to Amy?"

"Of course."

"Thank you. I think I'll get some sleep and you should too."

"I can sleep later."

"Afraid he'll come back?" she guessed.

"Yeah."

We both knew we meant Mr. Matthews.

"That'll fade over time."

She made tea and stuck it in the microwave.

"Have a good night Shawn," she told me.

"Thank you you too."

She left going upstairs.

While I was waiting for the tea I pulled out the cell and texted lily; hey dinno if ur still up but we need to talk to Cory, Topanga, Rachel and jack about raising rosemary and tom.

When she didn't reply I knew she'd gone to sleep.

"Mom," I heard Hannah say from the living room.

"Honey what are you doing up you should be asleep," Amy asked.

"I'm not feeling well. Look."

I heard Amy gasp; "ok I'll make an appointment for you first thing in the morning."

"Ok."

"Can I get you anything?"

"Some juice?"

"Ok I'll bring it up. How's Eric?"

"He's finally asleep."

"Good good."

Amy walked into the kitchen.

"Shawn you're still up," she said surprised.

"Hey Amy. Yeah yeah I am."

"Afraid he'll come back?"

"Yeah."

"so'm'i. Why else are you up?"

"There's been a lot on my mind."

"Anything I cam do?"

"No not yet. Thanks though."

She smiled; "you're welcome."

She pulled open the door of the fridge.

"How's Eric?" I asked.

"He's finally asleep according to Hannah."

"Good good. He really took it hard the news about Morgan."

"Yeah I know I was there."

"Oh that's right. It's been a long day."

She closed the fridge setting the big bottle of cranberry juice down on the counter.

"Yeah it has. Amy," I said as she reached into the cabinet and took down a cup.

"Yes?" he said her back to me as she poured.

"If I can intervene….i know it's not that easy."

"What isn't?"

She set the bottle back on the counter.

"Letting someone you love go. I had to do that with my dad and. And Angela. Of course the difference being that Mr. Matthews is still alive, but. I've been there."

She turned; "Shawn. How did you finally stop blaming yourself?"

"Over time you just. Come to terms with it I guess. There's no right or wrong answer. Life doesn't come with an instruction manual. Unfortunately."

"You said it. You've given me a lot to think about thanks."

"Sure anytime."

She looked at me, smiled; "have a good night Shawn sleep well whenever it is you finally do."

"Thanks you too."

She turned and went up the stairs taking the cup of juice with her.

I finished the pizza put the box in the recycling bin and the juice back in the fridge. I realized I'd forgotten to give Amy the tea. I quietly took it up the stairs and put it outside her door scribbling a note telling her Isabella had made it. I went back downstairs deciding to go visit sierra again having a feeling she needed to talk. I left a note for Morgan telling her where I was in case she woke up before I got back and left.


	32. Chapter 32

When I got to sierra's room the nurse was surprised I was still awake.

"You still awake?" she asked.

"Yeah well I had a feeling she needed to talk. She up?"

"Oh. Um. Yeah go on in hun."

"Thanks."

She smiled and left. I went inside closing the door behind me.

"Hey," sierra said.

"Hey I need to talk to you."

"Good cause I need to talk to you too."

"I know that's why I came back."

"Oh."

"You first," I told her.

"Ok well a few days ago I got a call from my birth mom. Do you remember her?"

"Yeah. I was the one who discovered she was doing drugs and made her leave."

"Yeah. Seems she loved them more than she loved me."

Well no wonder she was depressed.

"That's how addicts are sierra."

"Hey. How come you're not addicted to anything?"

"i. idinno."

"Oh. What have I done wrong?"

"I know why you feel that way. I don't want to tell you things will be ok when they might not," I told her repeating Topanga's words.

"Yeah thanks I guess. At least you're not lying. So what's your news?"

"Um I talked to Mr. feeny."

"About me?"

"Well…"

"I can't believe this! When I specifically told you not to."

"Sierra. I didn't mention names or anything specific. I just told him I was worried and asked him what to do."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's ok you've been through a lot."

We both had.

"What'd he say?"

"That you should talk to an adult and go somewhere safe."

"This is the safest yet."

"I know but…..soon we won't have enough money to pay."

"What about with some of your friends?"

"I'll talk to them about it."

"Ok."

"How do you feel about Amy?"

"Amy?"

Oh, that's right.

"Mrs. Matthews," I clarified.

"Oh. She seems sweet."

"Yeah she is. Would you be ok talking to her?"

"Yeah. Well I mean I don't want to but."

"Right."

"How are they doing?"

"Well Morgan broke up with James…Cory and Amy both made Mr. Matthews leave. Cory told him he's not to come back. Eric's pretty shaken up about Morgan."

"I'd think so."

"Well I have to go. I'm getting really tired and it's been a long day. Night. Whatever."

"Ok thanks for visiting."

"You're welcome."

I left going back to the Matthews where I promptly fell asleep.


	33. Chapter 33

When I woke up the next morning I was on the front step. Amy was urging me to wake up.

"Get inside where it's warm you must be freezing," she told me, "it's time for school."

"I'm not going to school," I replied as she helped me stand.

"Oh. Eric's not going either. But why aren't you going?"

"Because I don't want to."

She opened the front door and led me inside closing it behind her; "oh. Is something wrong?"

"No I just. Don't feel like going."

"Oh ok. Well I have to take Hannah to the doctors."

"Hannah let's go!" she called up the stairs.

Hannah came down the stairs and they left.

I assumed the others were at school. I didn't know where Isabella was. I knew Mr. feeny was teaching. Other than Eric and I no one else was in the house.

I went over to the fridge looked in and saw muffins. I closed it deciding to take a shower. But before I did that I took a drink. I was now on my 2nd bottle of vodka. Other than Morgan and Mr. feeny no one had really noticed.


	34. Chapter 34

It was later that afternoon.

"I can't believe you did this!" Amy was yelling.

"Mom it wasn't mine," Morgan told her.

"Well then why did they find it in your hand during class?"

"I was holding it for a friend."

"Can you say who?"

"No."

"Does this friend have a drinking problem?"

"No. he just. Uses it to unwind once in awhile."

"Well that sounds like the beginning of one to me."

"Things haven't exactly been great around here mom just what do you expect us to do?"

"Us?"

"Yeah us I drink too."

"Oh that is such an excuse. Go up to your room."

I heard Morgan come up the stairs and into her room. I stumbled half drunk down the hall where I knocked on her door.

"Go away," she said.

"It's me," I told her.

"Oh. Well then come in."

I opened the door and went in closing it behind me. I saw my half drunk bottle of vodka on her dresser.

"Thanks for holding that for me," I told her.

"Sure. Got myself in trouble for it but sure," she said.

I smiled; "y'know. Cory used to do the same thing."

"Yeah I know where do you think I got it from."

"Oh. Do you really drink?"

"Not as much as you do."

"Hey don't-"

"I'm not. Just stating."

"Oh."


	35. Chapter 35

When I got up to another part of the state I parked and went up the hill to the cemetery. Everything was dead and still. It was cold. The headstones were gray and stone. The grass was tall and thin curving in the wind. I made my way over to my dad's and stood in front of it.

"Hey dad," I said; "it's. It's been awhile. I miss you."

He didn't answer but I knew he was here. I felt him.

"I I have a son. And a daughter. Angela's taking care of the daughter jasmine. I hear she's beautiful. Such a pretty name. I had tom with an older woman. I called her the other day but haven't heard from her. My sister's pregnant. Oh well I guess you'd know about that. She wants an abortion. Yeah I can see why. I am so scared dad. I'm scared to be a dad. I don't want to be like you. Guess I already am. How could you do that to sierra? I know you like younger women but…..dear god."

I sat down my head in my hands; "oh dear god please help me".

After, I left the cemetery and went to a nearby liquor store and bought my dad's favorite whiskey. I drank it in my car.


	36. Chapter 36

"Hey everybody," I said when I entered the house later that night.

Topanga, lily, Eric, Eric's girlfriend Linda, Stacey, Cory, Topanga, jack, Rachel, Morgan, Leo, Leo's mom rosemary, Ian, Amy, Isabella and Mr. feeny were in the living room.

"Shawn hi," Linda said seeing me and smiling.

"Hey Linda," I said going over to her and hugging.

"Good to see you."

"You too. How've you been?"

"Good good and you?"

"Ok thanks."

Lily came over to me.

"You ok hun?" she asked.

"Yeah I'm good babe how are you?"

"Hey want some cake?" Morgan asked coming over to me and slipping an altoid into my hand.

"Or food?" Stacey asked.

I saw several open pizza boxes through the kitchen and wandered in.

"Shawn hey," Leo greeted me.

"Hey how are ya?" I asked.

"Ok you?"

"Same thanks. What do we got to drink?"

"Well. We have soda, water, juice, alcohol…." Eric, who was already holding a glass of whiskey, told me.

"Something strong for ya?" I asked him.

"Yeah."

"Yeah I understand that."

Amy sighed.

"Mom? Are you ok?" Cory asked as I slipped the altoid into my mouth.

"Yes I'm fine dear. It's just," she managed a weak smile, "this is my first party without your dad."

"I understand Amy," rosemary said.

Her husband had died awhile back.

"There's also pita. I brought it over," Topanga said.

"Trust you to bring the weird food," jack said.

"Hey!"

"Try some it's really good. With hummus," Rachel said holding a piece.

"alrite."

"And there's cake too," Ian said excitedly.

"ooh cake. Yum," I said.

"I know something else that's yum," lily said coming over to me and running her finger down my chest.

"Where're the kids?"

"June's."

"Oh. Ok. Guess I don't need food if I've got you."

She blushed.

"god you're so freakin charming when you do that. What? It's true you're hot. In a classy subtle way."

"Well thank you" she said and kissed me.

"Shawn," Isabella said interrupting us.

I looked over at her; "yeah?"

"What can I get you to drink?"

"Whiskey if ya have some."

"Sure."

Mr. feeny looked at me with warning.

"Mr. feeny it's ok," I told him meaning I wouldn't drink too much.

"What's ok?" lily wanted to know.

"That I'm here that you're here and we're all in one piece. Hey now isn't that something to celebrate!"

She smiled; "you're right"

Isabella came over and handed me my drink.

I raised it; "a toast, to everyone being here and alive and safe."

"Hey I'll drink to that," Eric said.

"Me too."

"As will I," Amy said.

"Same here," Cory said.

Everyone clinked glasses with everyone else and we drank.

"Now who wants some food?" Stacey asked; "we have pizza, hummus, vegetables, cheese, cookies, brownies and pita. Oh and rosemary brought over some of her bread."

"I do," Topanga said

"I'll have some," Linda said

Morgan came over to me.

"Shawn," she said.

I looked down at her; "yeah?"

"Be careful," she looked at the drink.

"Thanks I will."

After everyone got some food we settled in the living room..

"Shawn how was your trip?" Amy asked me.

"Yeah we haven't had a chance to talk about that," lily reminded me.

"It was short. A friend and I went to Ohio where we visited the hall of fame and planetarium," I said; "oh and the garden."

"ooh how was that?" Linda wanted to know.

"Really nice. The planetarium was cool and so was the hall of fame."

"Sounds like it," Leo said.

"Yeah we ended up in Denver where it was snowing and really cold. That's where Morgan met us. The friend's back in Denver staying with someone there."

"Do I know her?" Amy asked.

"Mom remember Claire?" Cory reminded her.

"Oh that's right."

"Meet any cute girls?" jack asked.

I smiled; "yeah 2."

"Well why didn't you bring them back?"

"I broke up with one and-"

"Shawn," lily said indicating she needed to talk to me.

"Not now," I told her.

"And the other one's just a friend. So Isabella," I said turning to her.

She looked at me.

"I haven't heard much about you. Where are you from how'd you and Amy meet?"

"Well…"

They looked at each other and smiled.


	37. Chapter 37

It was several hours later when I woke up. I was in the empty living room on the couch. The lights were off.

"Hey," a voice said from in the darkness.

"Ugh," I said.

"It's me," Morgan said.

"Yeah I know

"Oh."

"What happened?"

"After we finished with the party you fell asleep. Lily and jack put you on the couch. Everyone's asleep."

"Then why do I feel so awful?"

"You're probably drunk. You had one and a half bottles last night. But a few other people were drinking too."

"Oh."

"Can I get you anything?"

"A sprite?"

"Juice is better."

"Ok fine I'll have that," I snapped.

"I'm just trying to help you here Shawn."

"Sorry."

"I get it."

"Hey," I said trying to sit but found I couldn't.

"Yeah?"

"I think I'll go to Germany for a few days visit Angela."

"Not drunk you're not. Shawn if you're going to drink then eat while you drink. So that you don't get drunk.

"Morgan. Why the hell are you so annoyed with me?"

She sighed; "do you know how hard it is carrying around this big a secret?"

"Yeah in fact i do."

She went into the kitchen.

I pulled out my phone and texted lily letting her know I was going to Germany for a few days. Then went into the bathroom where I promptly got sick.


	38. Chapter 38

It was a few days later. I was in Germany after a long flight. It was night. I was in Angela's apartment building standing in the hallway outside her apartment. Her apartment door was closed as to be expected. I knocked on it. I heard heavy footsteps come across the floor and slide the chain lock. The door opened and a tall African American man appeared.

"Hi who'r you?" he asked.

"I'm Shawn Shawn hunter," I said.

"Oh so you're Shawn."

"Yeah. Um. Who are you?"

"I'm hakeem Angela's boyfriend."

"I'm here to see Angela is she in?"

"I'll check."

"Ok."

The door closed. Inside I heard hakem and Angela talking. Angela sighed.

"Ok," she said.

Her soft footsteps came across the wooden floor and she slid the chain lock and opened the door.

"Shawn," she said when she saw me, "what are you doing here?"

Shock crossed her face. She was even more beautiful than I'd remembered.

"Well I'm here to see you baby. And jasmine," I told her.

"Oh wow well i….i don't know what to say. This is a shock."

She opened the door wider. I saw a beautiful baby perched on her hip. Her skin was the color of Angela's and mine her eyes big blue and brown. My heart melted.

"This must be her. Wow she's beautiful," I breathed.

"Shawn this really isn't a good time hakeem and I are about to go out to dinner," Angela told me.

"Well I'll come with."

"Someone has to watch jasmine."

"Oh."

"And we've been pretty short on babysitters lately," hakeem informed me.

"Oh."

"You haven't changed a bit you're still the same irresponsible guy you always were," Angela said.

"Hey. That isn't my fault."

"Oh really? Shawn we really have to go if you will-" she dismissed me with a wave of her hand.

"Fine fine I'll go."

"A better time would've been when she was born."

"I hope you and hakeem are happy together."

"ya know what? We are in fact."

I left.


End file.
